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Warning: mild and non-politically motivated parody of Liberals ahead. If you are a Liberal with no sense of humour and/or can’t take a joke, move the fuck along.
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For Our Liberal Friends:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

For Our Conservative All Our Other Friends*:

Here’s wishing all of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

[edit]
*Seems some people can’t take a joke. I added the disclaimer at the beginning just in case some of the more retarded people don’t realise that this is merely Christmas-related** humour. I’d post a Conservative one too just for kicks, but unfortunately I don’t have a picture of a Nativity scene that includes a Hummer, an oil platform and Baby Jesus shooting Ay-rabs with an M16.

**Holy shit, I said the ‘C’ word! Please don’t sue me for “forcibly ramming religion” down your throat or whatever you overly-sensitive people are sitting in the corner and whining about currently.